I hate public speaking. I hate the sound of my voice in a microphone. I hate drawing attention to myself. I always wonder, “What if I sound stupid?” “What if my mouth dries up and I choke?” “What if I throw up?” “What if I fall?” I kept avoiding going up, but the feeling got stronger until I knew I had to give in and go do it. So I did.

Right before I went up on stage, I prayed for the Holy Spirit to guide my thoughts and words. I also pleaded not to make me look like a fool. When I got up there I don’t remember if I sounded stupid. I don’t remember if what I said made sense. In fact, I hardly remember what I said; it all happened so fast. Like some kind of freak accident. I remember hearing Pastor John give a couple of ‘amens’ and a few people looking at me like they were actually listening to what was being said though. And I remember feeling an great sense of relief when I was done.

I believe my prayer was answered. The Holy Spirit took over and helped me speak. In my weakness, God was made strong. I am glad I went up there and shared. I am glad God uses us in spite of ourselves. I pray that God will continue to give me courage and wisdom to share my testimony and the Gospel. There are more important “what if’s” that my own stupid, selfish ones when it comes to sharing the Gospel of Christ. Like, “What if my unsaved friends/family/loved ones don’t hear about Jesus because I was too fearful to share?” or “What if somebody might not ever hear the Gospel unless I am the one to share it with them?” or “What if I shared the Gospel with someone wherever I go?” Now those are the “what if’s” I want to start caring about.

I’m extremely happy to only be early in my pregnancy during the summer months. The pukey tired stage is over and everything is going wonderful so far. I met with the midwives for the first time last week. They are both incredible ladies! We listened to the baby’s heartbeat and basically did all the other routine stuff a normal o.b. doctor would do. I was amazed and excited to hear how the home birth process works. I think it’s going to be a wonderful experience to birth at home. In the meantime, I’m going to do my best to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy and start planning and preparing for this little bean to arrive.

Oh, and here are some other no bake sweet treats to help keep you cool the rest of the summer in case you don’t like peanut butter:

Candy Bar Freezer Dessert

Black Forest Freezer Pie

Frosty Freezer Pie

Lemonade Icebox Pie

This morning I spent some time thinking about my sin and the Gospel. When I first converted to Christianity I didn’t think would struggle with sin anymore. Like Paul says in Romans 7, I was not doing what I wanted to do but doing the things I hated doing. I struggled with this for years without telling anyone, fearing I wasn’t truly saved after all. I was determined not to let anyone find out so I did my best to practice self-control, good deeds, and go to church as often as possible. It worked, but only for a season.

Eventually, this performance became too exhausting to continue and I snapped. Following this moment came a whirlwind of destructive behavior and rebellion of monumental proportions. It almost cost me my family, my friendships,my marriage, and my life. At the very lowest point of this mess, God graciously got a hold of me. I remember confessing to God something quite similar to what Paul says in verse 18 of Romans 7, “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” Then I begged God to save me from myself. Miraculously, he did, and by his loving mercy and the power of His holy Spirit, he continues to keep saving me from myself.

My story reminds me the things Paul Washer shares about true conversion, which is why I posted it. My own efforts only conformed me to live a superficial pseudo-Christian life filled with guilt, fear, fatigue and performance. Unfortunately, many Christians have miserable lives or in miserable marriages because they are caught in that same endless cycle I was. True conversion comes from hearing and understanding the Gospel. It is evident by a transformed, continually regenerated life…a life being “lived out” as Paul Washer says in the video. I would also add it is a life marked by joy, thankfulness, repentance, forgiveness, service, love, and dependence on Christ instead of self. Now, when I wrestle with my nasty sinful nature, I am no longer afraid to admit or share my struggles and weaknesses, because in my weakness the power of Christ lives in me, giving me the strength to carry on.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. ~Romans 12:2 (NLT)

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. ~Philippians 1:6 (NLT)

Amazing. Simply amazing, isn’t it? This photo is from Lennart Nilsson Photography of a 10 week old baby in the womb. It’s hard to imagine that this is going on right now inside my body. Thank you, Lord, for knitting together the precious little life inside of me. You are truly magnificent and worthy of all praise!

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

~Psalm 139:13

This is what’s being proposed by Albert Mohler in his article, ‘Needed:An Exit Strategy.’ Because the public education system is “Fueled by a secularist agenda and influenced by an elite of radical educational bureaucrats and theorists, government schools now serve as engines for secularizing and radicalizing children” leaving “little hope for correction” or improvement Christians with children in the public school system need to consider developing a an exit strategy from the public schools as they become increasingly hostile toward Christians and their values.

Some folks will argue that the real remedy to this problem is not an exit strategy but a battle plan. They say that the downfall of the public education system is a self-fulfilling prophecy because Christians have chosen flight over fight, leaving little room for Christian influence and any hope for improvement in the battle ground that is the public school system. Because so many have retreated, they believe Christians have lost their voice and thus contributed to the current hostile conditions. This is a frustrating and painful accusation for homeschooling parents to hear.

It is true that we, as Christians, have the God-given ability to preserve the world from being completely overrun by corruption, primarily by the spreading of the Gospel. It is why Jesus calls us salt and light. It would also make sense that in large numbers our preservation potency as salt and light would increase. So why would God prompt the hearts of multitudes of parents to remove their children from public schools to homeschool? Could it be that the public schools are a place no longer able to be preserved? Could it be that the corruption of the public schools is so far gone that it’s no longer a place our children can be in the world without being of the world? I believe the answer to those two questions is, yes.

Are We Trying to Save Sodom?

I’ve heard talk of a thing called the “Genesis 18″ principle. It is based on Abraham’s intercessory prayer for the people of Sodom saying, “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked?” And God mercifully agrees that he will not destroy the city if only ten righteous people can be found in the entire city of Sodom. Sadly, only one was to be found, and that was Lot, and he and his family weren’t in the best shape spiritually. The city was destroyed. But because God said he would have preserved Sodom for only ten righteous people, the argument comes comes up, “If we take the Christian people (and their influence) out of the school system God will no longer preserve the public school system from complete corruption.”

I don’t believe that the text is teaching us to try and preserve Sodom (or corrupt institutions like the public school system, for example). When digging deeper there is more going on here:

#1) Was it really the population of righteous people inside Sodom that would have spurred God to preserve the city or the intercessory prayer of Abraham that come from the outside of Sodom and a demonstration of God’s loving mercy toward his people? Because it wasn’t until Abraham interceded that God allowed for a change in plans. This leads to me to conclude that significant improvements can be made to the public school system without actually being an inside influence on the system. Otherwise, wouldn’t Abraham have gone inside Sodom to try and save his relatives and preserve the city? Thus, it’s not correct to say that homeschoolers have less impact on the battleground that is the public schools because they aren’t in it. Or that Christians should send their children into the schools for the sake of trying to preserve it from corruption. Even Abraham knew it was safer and smarter to tackle the problem from the outside.

 #2) Was the corruption of Sodom more influential than the influence of righteous people? Lot was righteous man (2 Peter 2:7), but over time, the worldly pull and pressures of Sodom tormented his righteous soul (2 Peter 2:8). Obviously, being righteous doesn’t make you impervious to spiritual dangers. How many other righteous people chose to live in Sodom and were overcome by the corruption? If Christians choose public school their children they should not be ignorant or naive about the spiritual dangers lurking in the school system. If you send your children to public school make sure they are spiritually “armed and dangerous.”

#3) Can a righteous person be more influential on a corrupt place if they assume a more influential position in that place? In Genesis 19:1, we are told that “Lot was sitting in the gate of the city” meaning he held a place of authority and status. Maybe he thought he could be a good influence or an agent of change in the corrupt city? In Lot’s case, being in a position of authority did nothing to influence Sodom for the better. If anything it made Lot more a part of the problem than part of the solution because of his reluctance to speak out for God and righteousness when given the perfect platform to do so. I’m sure his reluctance came because he knew he’d risk losing everything. Ironically, his poor decisions still cost him everything.

#4) If Lot was so grieved by the lawlessness and corruption in Sodom, why didn’t’ he just leave or try to come up with an exit strategy? While we don’t have an exact answer from the Bible it does seem that Lot become increasingly tolerant of his surroundings, allowing his judgment to be clouded. He probably made all kinds of excuses why he couldn’t leave Sodom. And it seems like the longer Lot and his family spent his time in Sodom, the more he compromised and conformed. Can the same be said of those children or teachers in the public school system? That the more time Christians spend learning worldly ideologies and philosophies, the more clouded their discernment of the things of God becomes, and the more excuses they make for trying to stick around and be a part of a system that is headed down a road of compromise, corruption, and hostility toward the things of God?

Exit Strategy or Battle Plan

If you’re a Christian with children in public schools, expect things to worsen for you and your children. It’s just a fact.

“With control over the public school system increasingly in the hands of the courts, educational bureaucrats, the university-based education schools, and the powerful teachers’ unions, little hope for correction appears. Federal mandates, accreditation requirements, union demands, and the influence of the educational elite represent a combined force that is far greater than the localized influence of many school boards, not to mention parents. Those who doubt the radical commitments of groups such as the National Education Association should simply look at the organization’s public statements, policy positions, and initiatives.” (Needed:An Exit Strategy)

My goal is not to condemn public school families but to share the heartfelt concerns about the direction of the public school system. You are either going to need a battle plan; to train your children diligently using the Bible, be willing to be a proactive voice in the school to stand for God and righteousness, and lobby for the legislative changes. Or you will need an exit strategy; budgeting the cost of Christian private school or learning more about how to home educate your children. Whatever you do, I pray the Lord gives you guidance, strength, wisdom, and grace.

Here’s an excerpt from the article:

In the Age of Enlightenment, James Boswell defined cooking as a distinctive mark of humanity. Humans, he argued, are “the cooking animal.” While most living creatures eat, only human beings cook. Or, as writer Michael Pollan laments, humans used to cook.

There’s also a similar audio segment called, The Lost Art of Great Cooking.

I grew up eating TV dinner’s and Hot Pockets. If I can learn to cook, anybody can learn to cook. Can’t find time to cook? I stay at home and homeschool four (soon to be five) kids, two of them are in diapers, and I still find time to cook our family’s food.  I can’t deny that it takes quite a bit of work but most of it isn’t the actual cooking but planning the meals and shopping for the food. The key is finding the right system that works for you and your family. It’s worth taking the time to learn to cook and prepare home cooked meals.You’ll be healthier, happier, and apparently, more human. 

It got me thinking about a few conversations with family in the past week. Our announcement of Baby Mohr #5 has not been received well by most of our family. One family member even said, “Well, it’s your life.” Like somehow having a fifth child is going to be some kind of life destroying event. It has hurt. But I can just imagine what the family or friends from the blog post must have gone through each time they announced a pregnancy to their family since most of the children were born with no arms.

I’m sure the biggest question is why? While I can’t answer for the family from the blog post I can tell you my answer. God’s grace.

We have used faith to determine our family size based on a conviction my husband and I had by the Holy Spirit after our 2nd child. We trust that God knows best for all things in our lives, including the number of children we will have. Do I love every minute of pregnancy? No. Is having a small herd of children (especially if one has a few special needs or when flu season strikes) always easy? Certainly not. But do I (we) serve an abundantly sovereign and sufficiently gracious God whose power is made perfect in my weakness? (2 Corinthians 12:7-9)

YES!! Praise God and amen, Yes!!

Will you obey God even if it means sacrificing your own desires for comfort, wealth or other worldly needs? Will you still trust God even though your faith will appear foolish or weak to the world? Are you prepared to face criticism and opposition, even from other Christians or your own family members? I pray you’ll that you’ll be obedient, faithful, and fervent to whatever it is God is calling you go do “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7).”