Last Sunday in church there was an opportunity for people to share a brief two minute testimony. It was wonderful to hear each person’s story of how the grace of God reached out and grabbed these people from their broken sinful lives. A few testimonies into the service, I began to have the heart-racing-sweaty-palms-gonna-puke feeling that I too was supposed to go up and briefly share what Christ as done for me. I hate that feeling.
I hate public speaking. I hate the sound of my voice in a microphone. I hate drawing attention to myself. I always wonder, “What if I sound stupid?” “What if my mouth dries up and I choke?” “What if I throw up?” “What if I fall?” I kept avoiding going up, but the feeling got stronger until I knew I had to give in and go do it. So I did.
Right before I went up on stage, I prayed for the Holy Spirit to guide my thoughts and words. I also pleaded not to make me look like a fool. When I got up there I don’t remember if I sounded stupid. I don’t remember if what I said made sense. In fact, I hardly remember what I said; it all happened so fast. Like some kind of freak accident. I remember hearing Pastor John give a couple of ‘amens’ and a few people looking at me like they were actually listening to what was being said though. And I remember feeling an great sense of relief when I was done.
I believe my prayer was answered. The Holy Spirit took over and helped me speak. In my weakness, God was made strong. I am glad I went up there and shared. I am glad God uses us in spite of ourselves. I pray that God will continue to give me courage and wisdom to share my testimony and the Gospel. There are more important “what if’s” that my own stupid, selfish ones when it comes to sharing the Gospel of Christ. Like, “What if my unsaved friends/family/loved ones don’t hear about Jesus because I was too fearful to share?” or “What if somebody might not ever hear the Gospel unless I am the one to share it with them?” or “What if I shared the Gospel with someone wherever I go?” Now those are the “what if’s” I want to start caring about.
